What's Your Time Worth?

Last week I wrote about letting go. Well, it seems you, my audience, had a lot to say about letting go. It seems many of you know you need too, but find doing so scary and difficult. I get that. I was there too. Do you ever feel like…

you can’t stop thinking of work, even when you’re relaxing.

your mind is always racing and never seems to “shut down.”

you feel like you are drowning or suffocating.

you skip meals to fit in more.

your important relationships with spouse, friends, kids and family members are deteriorating?

If you answered “yes” to any of these then you may be suffering from an inability to let things go. These are the warning signs that you are working hard, but not smart, and that it is time to delegate and ask for help.

Let me explain it this way: what is your time worth? I recently coached a client who owns a large company. He insisted on editing his own communications because nobody could do it as well as he could…because “it’s just as easy for me to do it, because it’ll take too long to explain it to someone else” AND because “it costs too much to pay someone else to do it”. Yet, he complained that the editing took hours from his week and that he suspected that his 25% drop in sales correlated to his lack of dedication to his broader responsibilities.

His inability to let go caused him to suffer in big ways—both financially and personally. His life satisfaction was looooow.

We figured out that his hourly rate was $250. I asked him if he would pay an editor $250/hour. He said no. He saw the light—he realized he shouldn’t be doing the work. He decided to let go and delegate all work that wasn’t worth his hourly salary. He found a $40/hour editor and reduced his 12-hour day to 10 hours. And he found the time to take a mountain-biking trip with his son which is his true definition of real success!

But before you say, “well I don’t make $250/hour” and tune out, listen further. Perhaps you aren’t making any money—right now. Before you scoff at what I say, let me ask you this: what are you not doing or experiencing because you aren’t getting help? Are you missing out on an opportunity to make money because you spend your time doing things you could delegate or pay others to do?

Yesterday I met with my client, a mother of two small children and a home-based freelance writer. She discussed her utter frustration with her inability to do it all. Parent, work, clean, cook, play. Completely capable and highly functional (sometimes the worst combo when it comes to letting go), I asked her what she could delegate to others, maybe the house cleaning? She argued that spending money on a cleaning lady was a silly waste of money because she could do it herself. “Why pay someone else to do what I myself can do?” Even though her house being a mess was enough to make her stark-raving mad. And even though the current state of her home actually rendered her immobile, verging on depression.

She realized she wasn’t finishing an article (with a potential pay-out of almost $2,000) because she wasn’t willing to pay someone $20/hour to clean her house. When viewed in this light, she saw the error in her thinking.

I’ll never forget a client who was a successful 45-year-old male. He sat with me recalling that all he remembers his mother doing was cleaning—even when he asked her to play. He told me how much he resented that. Well that statement left me scared and willing to change my ways. I still wonder what my children will say about me 20 years from now. And then I ask …what else do I need to let go of? What do you?

Here’s how to start:

First, you need help in order to focus on the money-making aspects of your business. Second, when you insist on doing it all—just because you can—your life’s satisfaction and ultimate success are at risk.

Some thoughts and beliefs to support you in changing your ways:

Purchase opportunities and experiences versus things.

Let others do what they are good at, and you do what you are good at.

Trust that when you provide others opportunities, opportunities will come back to you.

Know there is a way to work and live smarter than the way you are now.

The best investment you can make is in YOU. You are your greatest asset. Act like it.

Ready to get started? Here are 6 user-friendly web sites that can simplify your outsourcing search.

www.GetAFreelancer.com

www.Elance.com

www.Crowdspring.com

www.Domystuff.com

www.Virtualassistant.com

www.Craigslist.org

For those of you still wrestling with spending the money on that which you can do for yourself: yesterday, a colleague of mine told me she hired a Virtual Assistant on one of these sites for $8.00 an hour. Still think it’s smarter to do it yourself?? My mission is to support you in turning your “ideal” life into your “Real life”—one day at a time. Let’s start today.

Let me know what things you choose to give up…I can’t wait to hear what you gain in return. Let’s celebrate together.

Rita

April Insights--What's Holding You Back?

This past weekend I returned from a wonderful spring break with my three children. On my flight home, I sat in front of a very belligerent woman who refused to follow the direction of the flight attendant. Upon take-off he asked her to remove her purse from her lap and place it under the seat in front of her (a standard regulation request).

She immediately became indignant. She told the flight attendant he was harassing her, and aggressively argued that the purse was not big enough to warrant being put on the ground. Then she added that her father and grandfather had flown all types of airplanes and she herself had been flying since she was two weeks old. (What these last two points had to with our flight was clearly nothing. I did tell her this later in the flight.)

She begrudgingly slammed her purse under the seat in front of her--then immediately returned it to her lap once the flight attendant left. The flight attendant asked again. A lot of yelling ensued. She took it off. Put it back on. The flight attendant made the same request while preparing to land. This woman had clearly been living under a rock for the last nine years--who amongst us (especially seasoned travelers like this woman) isn't aware of airline safety regulations?

Her behavior truly amazed me--she seemed to fight reality. What struck me was how much energy she invested (and therefore wasted) on being negative. She could have chosen to spend her two hour flight in a more peaceful and productive state, but instead, she took herself and all those around her down with her negative one-way diatribe.

Once the plane landed and we came to the gate, we were asked to remain seated as four police officers stormed the plane and removed her from it. At that point we learned that she was a university professor flying with four students on their way to China. She wasn't uneducated--she was a chaperone! It was not for a lack of understanding that she wouldn't listen or abide by the rules. She allowed negativity to rule.

As we exited the aircraft, I saw the lady still fighting with the now eight law enforcement that surrounded her. I wanted to say, "Lady, let it go."

Which got me thinking. How many times have we all held onto things for too long? Thoughts that hold us back. Habits that limit us. Distractions that derail us. Negative people that drain us. Fear that paralyzes us and sabotages our performance and productivity.

We spend so much time and energy on things that don't matter that we don't focus on what does matter. We fill up on negative energy and then there's not room for positive energy to flow into our lives. And then, we scratch our heads, wondering why our lives continue on the same trajectory.

This week I encourage you to let go of something that holds you back. Let go of the mental clutter that prevents you from focusing on your priorities. Let go of the negativity, blame, and battle you wage with yourself or others. When you do, you'll make room for great thoughts, exciting opportunities, endless possibilities, and an infinite supply of joy that waits to fill you up. You just have to let go of the old junk to make room for the good stuff.

Now make it work for you:

1. Identify one toxic belief or habit in your life and choose to let it go.

2. What limiting or negative story do you keep replaying in your mind that you must let go of in order to move your dream and goals forward?

3. Identify two actions that you will take (within the next 24 hours!) to prove you are no longer holding onto your old ways.

Let it go. Let it go. Let. It. Go.

Peace,

Rita

Risk

“He who deliberates fully before taking a step will spend his entire life on one leg.” Chinese Proverb

Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been implementing new technology systems to better support my clients as well as myself. A daunting task for me, especially since I am a technology-challenged individual. I faced great uncertainty: “Should I make these changes? Am I making the right decisions? What if I get something wrong and nothing works?”

Have you ever thought that your next decision would decide the fate of the planet? It may not be realistic, but it certainly feels possible in the moment. This was one of those moments for me.

The change–every part of it—took me out of my comfort zone. When I made the final purchase and pushed the final button, my body shook with fear. I called a friend to talk me down from the ledge!

I thought to myself, “Woman, pull yourself together.” And then I took a leap. I felt the fear and…I did it anyway. The result: I now enjoy more productivity, efficiency and freedom!

The next step calls even when, especially when, we are uncertain of what will happen next. This uncertainty can create anxiety and fear, especially if you believe that decision or choice will affect your life indefinitely. Sometimes, we must release our inner control freak. We must stop deliberating and take action. We must dare to be wrong or rejected or look foolish, or make a mistake. We must embrace the risk.

A study of 75 90-year-olds showed that given another chance, they’d take more risks. The glory of knowing they at least tried far exceeds any regrets or angst over making the wrong decision. May we hear this wisdom and act on it while we can.

On the day I made my “big” decisions to move forward, I received this Chinese Proverb. A coincidence? I think not. The universe prodded me to stop hesitating, stop mulling over the decision and step into the next moment. I’m glad I listened.

Don’t ruminate and hesitate for one more day. I challenge you to get off your one-legged perch. Do something that stretches your comfort zone. If you’ve been deliberating on something for awhile, take the step. Prepare to be amazed by what lies ahead.

Aretn't Your Dreams & Goals Worth 16 Minutes?

Yesterday started with the greatest of intentions. I intended to further my dream—to realize the launch of a new product for which I have so much passion. I sat down in my office, eager to continue my work on this product—I even had the time “blocked” to do it. I turned on my computer, and checked my email. Two hours later, after addressing e-mails, being distracted by de-cluttering my office and two incoming calls, I was in the same place as when I turned on my computer! The many things and tasks around me clamored for my attention and I gave it—and lost my footing in the process.

With so many options and distractions in our world, it can be difficult to remain focused. Even when I know better!

I sat down in my office with a vague idea (but not a concrete idea) of what I wanted to accomplish. I have my lists. (And yes, these lists are usually on paper, because I am a dinosaur who still holds more faith in “inking it” than hitting “save” on the computer and sending it into the ethers.) Regardless of where you keep your list, the problem lies with the execution of your list. How can you stick to a plan when so many things threaten to derail it? How do you remain focused when there are so many things that must get done?

Having coached clients for over ten years and studying what the successful and consciously living do, I believe I have the answer.

Ritual.

Regular structure allows for planning, visioning, and deliberate action. With a ritual, you will drive your day rather than the details of the day driving you.

Your ritual needs to be the first thing that gets done no matter what. It need not be long, in fact, it shouldn’t be long--I believe it can be completed in just 16 minutes a day.

How? It all starts before you turn on your computer…

Step 1 (5 minutes) Plan your day. Begin with a blank piece of paper and write down what would make today a successful day in all ways. What can you realistically accomplish today that would make you feel successful and happy about your progress? Go ahead and write it down.

Place those items into time slots throughout the day, preferably doing the most difficult tasks earlier in the day when you are at your peak.

Step 2 (3 minutes) Visualize your day in advance. Visualization is a powerful tool. After Step 1, imagine yourself at the end of your day. Look back on it with great satisfaction and a smile on your face. Imagine yourself embodying all of the traits that you need to succeed; tenacity, preparedness, confidence, organized, calm. See your accomplishments—and enjoy your success. Feel and get comfortable with the results—notice how easy it was.

Step 3 (3 minutes) Mine for Gold. Ask your Higher Self or your intuitive mind for any additional information or answers to challenges. We always have more untapped information. Such intuitive insights are often lost because we don’t take the time to ask, trust and act on it when it comes. Ask any question, for example, “Who could help me complete that project on time?” or “What resources can I tap that I haven’t yet?” Write the insights that come to you and add into your day.

Step 4 (2 minutes) How do you feel? You create in direct proportion to how good you feel. Manage your state by speaking positively about yourself and your potential, making sure you support your body with whatever it needs--food, exercise, breathing, daylight, etc.

Step 5 (3 minutes) Gratitude and success. What five things are you grateful for? Name five areas in which you’ve succeeded. Write ‘em down. (If you don’t acknowledge yourself and give thanks for what you have, why would you expect to get more?)

Visit your list at least twice a day to remain clear and focused on your direction. Employing a daily ritual espouses confidence and results. After avidly planning your day, you’ll be less likely to entertain interruptions. Instead, you’ll easily address the distractions and stay on track.

Aren’t your dreams and goals worth 16 minutes of planning?

Vision

Before my second daughter was born, I thought I wanted two children. That would be magical. Then, after she arrived, I realized I’d been wrong. Anyone who knows me well knows that I wanted to add a third child to our family—in a big way! I then knew that indeed the number was three!

I was absolutely set on it--only in the way you can be when you desire something that is not necessarily entirely up to you. My vision: a third child. If God was willing, I was beyond willing. Just one small detail: I needed to make sure my husband signed on, too.

You see, as passionately as I desired a third, my husband was quite settled in our life with our two fabulous daughters. I knew I needed to set some strong intention. And that I did. I posted a picture of a small boy kissing his mom’s pregnant belly on my vision board. Talked about it incessantly with my closest friends. (Thank you, Lisa, for listening to what may have seemed like a one-way diatribe. I admit it often was.) I visualized him—yes, I felt strongly that a boy was meant to be here. Wrote about it. Talked about it some more. Felt it. I did it all.

My husband signed on.

And my vision materialized. Life blessed me a third time with my third child. A boy. James Cole Hyland joined us a year ago this week! I still squeal that I got him --against odds and the dictates of logic.

What I know for sure: crystal clear, laser-focused dreams, intentions and visions move mountains. What visions dance in your head?

Eight Steps to Manage Your Dream & Live It!

Do you have a great idea that continues to be...a just a great idea? Do you talk yourself out of it before you even begin? I spoke with a client last week who has a great idea for a new product. His product would allow him to initiate conversations with his desired, prospective clients. Even his current clients could use it! It is original and it excites him tremendously. He talks about it repeatedly. Still further, when I ask him what would make his year fabulous, he always answers, "I want to turn this idea into a real, living product!" Eureka! A dream that is waiting to be realized!

Ahh, but wait, after he passionately describes this fabulous product, he quickly launches into the reasons it is too much for him to begin. His biggest fear is that he will spend a lot of time planning, but never complete it or it doesn't succeed. Does this sound familiar to you?

What are your ideas? Dreams? Increasing your income with passive income products, finally clearing your debt, launching a business idea, bringing connection and passion back to your marriage, writing an article for a national publication, or well, taking your life to the most amazing level???

Why haven't you done it yet? What are your excuses? WHY do you allow your excuses to rule?

We remain stuck and mire in our negative monologues for many reasons. Money, time, lack of information and fear are the top four but the list is long. Every single person, EVERY ONE, experiences these fears! So what do the successful and fulfilled do when their fear and excuses try to dominate their world? How do they throttle themselves forward?

First, they expect to win. Even during the current economic downturn that impact most, these individuals expect to succeed and move toward their dreams. Second, these people act daily and deliberately to reach their dream. They seek the best strategies and create a plan to get there.

How do I know? Because these successes belong to my clients. One client just landed his dream job and makes 50% more than he did at his previous job (from which he was fired!). Another launched her own business and opened a store--right in the midst of the economic turbulence. Another expanded his sales by 120% in six months. Still another, a stay-at-home mom, started her out-of-the-home business and now supplements the family's income. She does what she loves and makes money doing it!

What's their secret? They focus on their goals instead obstacles and excuses. They parse their dreams into palatable bits and take daily steps, steadily and surely.

Is there an idea you've had--either one for your business, physical health, career change, or marriage--that still exists only in your head? When it pops into your thoughts do you kibosh it before you give it a chance? Do you talk yourself out it?

Follow my clients' lead; turn that dream into action and start seeing results. Start with these eight steps:

1. Remember your past successes. You've experienced far more success than you currently acknowledge. (Trust me, I know.)

2. Ink it--don't think it! Write down your dream! Don't let it swirl around in that head of yours. Give that dream a landing pad!

3. Define success. You cannot hit a target you cannot see.

4. Plan in 90-day chunks--this a time frame we can get our mindset around. Take 30-minutes to identify what you want to accomplish in the next 90-days. Then, break down your steps into smaller, doable chunks.

5. Every day answer, "What is my next step?" Remember, don't allow yourself to get overwhelmed...only focus on your next step.

6. Don't work alone. Partner up with someone who will hold you accountable. Statistics show we complete at least twice as much when we are held accountable.

7. Be certain of your success. Expect to win. Olympians are doing it in Canada as you read this. They rehearse winning in their mind over and over again. When they take their starting positions, they simply recreate what their mind already expects.

8. Take immediate action in the next 24-48 hours. Once you've identified your goal and created a plan, never leave a day without being one step closer to its realization.

What will you choose? Excuses and a limiting mindset? Or the realization of your dream? The power lies within you. The answers and wisdom which will fuel your dreams are right before you. Grab the momentum and make it happen!

All the Best,

Rita

Go to www.ritahyland.com to get a copy of "Life Changes. Dreams Don't. The Ten Keys to Jumpstart Your Ideal Life--Now!"

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