Closed Door? Or Open Door?

Helen Keller said, “When one door of happiness closes, another opens.” Unfortunately, most of us spend so much time talking about, grieving about, being angry about the closed door, that we use up all of our energy. Energy that could be siphoned toward fueling our dreams…and allowing us to see the open door with opportunities behind it.

If you’ve lost something lately, perhaps a job, your portfolio, a profitable client, change at the office, or even the ease of your primary relationship, you may be experiencing anxiety or grief. You may think, “I find it difficult to be positive when I’ve suffered this loss”. I believe that you must allow yourself to mourn and experience your feelings about that closed door. BUT (and this is a big but, so listen up): in order for you to be able to see the next opportunity, you must realize that your further response, and your outlook, will determine your future and ultimately your destiny.

So how do you move forward in challenging times and refocus on your dreams? Here are 8 steps to help you survive and shift your mindset:

1. Be thankful. Every day. Twice a day. Stop and recognize the gifts in your life. Celebrate your successes—especially when you’re current perspective is making it hard to find any.

2. Reflect. When things aren’t going the way you think they “should” go, don’t go down with them. Pause. Get grounded. Reflect. Clear your head and give yourself permission to accept the reality of what is happening. Then start working toward where you will go from here.

3. Be dutiful. Author and speaker Robert Schuler said, “By the yard is hard; by the inch, anything is a cinch.” When you are active, you gain momentum; you tend to see possibility and you make headway. Progress, no matter how small, is better than stagnation.

4. Be patient. Our society has little patience. We want everything now or yesterday. Your dreams are not “microwaveable.” Believing they “should” be only leads to self-criticism, doubt, anxiety, and every other feeling that works against you. Instead, be gentle and patient with yourself. Hold the vision of your dream, and it will arrive ‘on time.’ (And remember this: most “over-night” successes were years in the making.)

5. Be committed. Keep working at it. I often ask my clients this: “If you knew that your dream wouldn’t materialize until you were 90-years-old, would you still put forth the energy and fortitude to achieve it?” If they answer yes, I know they hold purpose and passion. Be committed; you must be willing to go from winning to failure to winning and failure and get up again and again. Hold to your vision and always remember why you are pursuing your dream.

6. Be open. Be open to new ways to serve. Be open to new ways to win. Be certain that there is an opportunity if you are looking for it, rather than remaining closed off to it.

7. Be willing to slow down. This allows you to see things from a different perspective (maybe there’s an open door that you’ve been whizzing by).

8. Keep growing. Remember you are your greatest investment. Commit to learning something new and expanding your mind and talents daily. Practice speaking up at a meeting, taking on a new role, signing up for a workshop or class. Read a magazine or listen to motivational CD to support you in your growth.

It is during the toughest of times that doors close. And it is during these same times that others are waiting to be opened. I’ve seen it consistently both personally and in my work with others: when you make the decision to keep your dream alive, unleash your personal power, and look for doors to open --- you will see opportunities abound. Keep your eyes open and your dream alive.

I can’t wait to see you shine,
Rita