Just Get Started

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one.” Mark Twain

Yup. What Mark said. It’s brilliant and spot on. Movement begets movement, creating momentum. Start with the first step. Having trouble making the first step? Scale it down into bite-sized, manageable pieces. Key here is the word manageable—create actionable steps that don’t intimidate with their girth or magnitude.

Now you know the secret. Move everyday…and start living your dreams.

Break it down,
Rita

Clarity

"Only a clear picture of where you are and where you want to go can help you prioritize what you need to do.…Clarity of vision creates clarity of priorities." John Maxwell (author, motivational speaker)

Recently I faced so many challenges, new decisions, interruptions and options that I became completely overwhelmed. Almost paralyzed. No one is immune from moments of blurry vision and fuzzy focus. These stealth saboteurs wreak havoc on the most seasoned among us. From corporate executives to stay-at-home mothers, we can all identify with these feelings. Clarity is the first thing to go when we are busy, stressed and being called to get it all done, right now. What to do when that happens?

Get clear. Refocus.

I knew why I felt as I did last week--I’d allowed the competing chaos to reprioritize my life. As a result, I misplaced my priorities. I felt confused, disorganized and even a bit incapable. Instead of continuing to mire in the mess of challenges, decisions and interruptions, I stopped. I refocused on my larger goals which allowed me to appropriately analyze and prioritize all the things that vied for my time.

Get clear and prioritize by answering these questions:

1. In 4-6 months, what do I desire to create or experience? (Where do you want to go—what do you want to accomplish?)

2. What seeds can I plant this month, this week, in the next 24 hours to get me there?

3. Whose help do I need to support my focus and direction? (Just asking for help is a mark of strength!)

Remember you don't have to see the entire staircase—you just need to see the next steps. By answering the above questions, you've got your steps. If you haven't yet been able to answer them: give yourself permission to step away to engage the questions from a new perspective. Or gain the support of a trusted mentor to help you see what you currently cannot. Remember, “clarity of vision creates clarity of priority”.

Sending peace,

Rita

Closed Door? Or Open Door?

Helen Keller said, “When one door of happiness closes, another opens.” Unfortunately, most of us spend so much time talking about, grieving about, being angry about the closed door, that we use up all of our energy. Energy that could be siphoned toward fueling our dreams…and allowing us to see the open door with opportunities behind it.

If you’ve lost something lately, perhaps a job, your portfolio, a profitable client, change at the office, or even the ease of your primary relationship, you may be experiencing anxiety or grief. You may think, “I find it difficult to be positive when I’ve suffered this loss”. I believe that you must allow yourself to mourn and experience your feelings about that closed door. BUT (and this is a big but, so listen up): in order for you to be able to see the next opportunity, you must realize that your further response, and your outlook, will determine your future and ultimately your destiny.

So how do you move forward in challenging times and refocus on your dreams? Here are 8 steps to help you survive and shift your mindset:

1. Be thankful. Every day. Twice a day. Stop and recognize the gifts in your life. Celebrate your successes—especially when you’re current perspective is making it hard to find any.

2. Reflect. When things aren’t going the way you think they “should” go, don’t go down with them. Pause. Get grounded. Reflect. Clear your head and give yourself permission to accept the reality of what is happening. Then start working toward where you will go from here.

3. Be dutiful. Author and speaker Robert Schuler said, “By the yard is hard; by the inch, anything is a cinch.” When you are active, you gain momentum; you tend to see possibility and you make headway. Progress, no matter how small, is better than stagnation.

4. Be patient. Our society has little patience. We want everything now or yesterday. Your dreams are not “microwaveable.” Believing they “should” be only leads to self-criticism, doubt, anxiety, and every other feeling that works against you. Instead, be gentle and patient with yourself. Hold the vision of your dream, and it will arrive ‘on time.’ (And remember this: most “over-night” successes were years in the making.)

5. Be committed. Keep working at it. I often ask my clients this: “If you knew that your dream wouldn’t materialize until you were 90-years-old, would you still put forth the energy and fortitude to achieve it?” If they answer yes, I know they hold purpose and passion. Be committed; you must be willing to go from winning to failure to winning and failure and get up again and again. Hold to your vision and always remember why you are pursuing your dream.

6. Be open. Be open to new ways to serve. Be open to new ways to win. Be certain that there is an opportunity if you are looking for it, rather than remaining closed off to it.

7. Be willing to slow down. This allows you to see things from a different perspective (maybe there’s an open door that you’ve been whizzing by).

8. Keep growing. Remember you are your greatest investment. Commit to learning something new and expanding your mind and talents daily. Practice speaking up at a meeting, taking on a new role, signing up for a workshop or class. Read a magazine or listen to motivational CD to support you in your growth.

It is during the toughest of times that doors close. And it is during these same times that others are waiting to be opened. I’ve seen it consistently both personally and in my work with others: when you make the decision to keep your dream alive, unleash your personal power, and look for doors to open --- you will see opportunities abound. Keep your eyes open and your dream alive.

I can’t wait to see you shine,
Rita

What's Your Time Worth?

Last week I wrote about letting go. Well, it seems you, my audience, had a lot to say about letting go. It seems many of you know you need too, but find doing so scary and difficult. I get that. I was there too. Do you ever feel like…

you can’t stop thinking of work, even when you’re relaxing.

your mind is always racing and never seems to “shut down.”

you feel like you are drowning or suffocating.

you skip meals to fit in more.

your important relationships with spouse, friends, kids and family members are deteriorating?

If you answered “yes” to any of these then you may be suffering from an inability to let things go. These are the warning signs that you are working hard, but not smart, and that it is time to delegate and ask for help.

Let me explain it this way: what is your time worth? I recently coached a client who owns a large company. He insisted on editing his own communications because nobody could do it as well as he could…because “it’s just as easy for me to do it, because it’ll take too long to explain it to someone else” AND because “it costs too much to pay someone else to do it”. Yet, he complained that the editing took hours from his week and that he suspected that his 25% drop in sales correlated to his lack of dedication to his broader responsibilities.

His inability to let go caused him to suffer in big ways—both financially and personally. His life satisfaction was looooow.

We figured out that his hourly rate was $250. I asked him if he would pay an editor $250/hour. He said no. He saw the light—he realized he shouldn’t be doing the work. He decided to let go and delegate all work that wasn’t worth his hourly salary. He found a $40/hour editor and reduced his 12-hour day to 10 hours. And he found the time to take a mountain-biking trip with his son which is his true definition of real success!

But before you say, “well I don’t make $250/hour” and tune out, listen further. Perhaps you aren’t making any money—right now. Before you scoff at what I say, let me ask you this: what are you not doing or experiencing because you aren’t getting help? Are you missing out on an opportunity to make money because you spend your time doing things you could delegate or pay others to do?

Yesterday I met with my client, a mother of two small children and a home-based freelance writer. She discussed her utter frustration with her inability to do it all. Parent, work, clean, cook, play. Completely capable and highly functional (sometimes the worst combo when it comes to letting go), I asked her what she could delegate to others, maybe the house cleaning? She argued that spending money on a cleaning lady was a silly waste of money because she could do it herself. “Why pay someone else to do what I myself can do?” Even though her house being a mess was enough to make her stark-raving mad. And even though the current state of her home actually rendered her immobile, verging on depression.

She realized she wasn’t finishing an article (with a potential pay-out of almost $2,000) because she wasn’t willing to pay someone $20/hour to clean her house. When viewed in this light, she saw the error in her thinking.

I’ll never forget a client who was a successful 45-year-old male. He sat with me recalling that all he remembers his mother doing was cleaning—even when he asked her to play. He told me how much he resented that. Well that statement left me scared and willing to change my ways. I still wonder what my children will say about me 20 years from now. And then I ask …what else do I need to let go of? What do you?

Here’s how to start:

First, you need help in order to focus on the money-making aspects of your business. Second, when you insist on doing it all—just because you can—your life’s satisfaction and ultimate success are at risk.

Some thoughts and beliefs to support you in changing your ways:

Purchase opportunities and experiences versus things.

Let others do what they are good at, and you do what you are good at.

Trust that when you provide others opportunities, opportunities will come back to you.

Know there is a way to work and live smarter than the way you are now.

The best investment you can make is in YOU. You are your greatest asset. Act like it.

Ready to get started? Here are 6 user-friendly web sites that can simplify your outsourcing search.

www.GetAFreelancer.com

www.Elance.com

www.Crowdspring.com

www.Domystuff.com

www.Virtualassistant.com

www.Craigslist.org

For those of you still wrestling with spending the money on that which you can do for yourself: yesterday, a colleague of mine told me she hired a Virtual Assistant on one of these sites for $8.00 an hour. Still think it’s smarter to do it yourself?? My mission is to support you in turning your “ideal” life into your “Real life”—one day at a time. Let’s start today.

Let me know what things you choose to give up…I can’t wait to hear what you gain in return. Let’s celebrate together.

Rita

April Insights--What's Holding You Back?

This past weekend I returned from a wonderful spring break with my three children. On my flight home, I sat in front of a very belligerent woman who refused to follow the direction of the flight attendant. Upon take-off he asked her to remove her purse from her lap and place it under the seat in front of her (a standard regulation request).

She immediately became indignant. She told the flight attendant he was harassing her, and aggressively argued that the purse was not big enough to warrant being put on the ground. Then she added that her father and grandfather had flown all types of airplanes and she herself had been flying since she was two weeks old. (What these last two points had to with our flight was clearly nothing. I did tell her this later in the flight.)

She begrudgingly slammed her purse under the seat in front of her--then immediately returned it to her lap once the flight attendant left. The flight attendant asked again. A lot of yelling ensued. She took it off. Put it back on. The flight attendant made the same request while preparing to land. This woman had clearly been living under a rock for the last nine years--who amongst us (especially seasoned travelers like this woman) isn't aware of airline safety regulations?

Her behavior truly amazed me--she seemed to fight reality. What struck me was how much energy she invested (and therefore wasted) on being negative. She could have chosen to spend her two hour flight in a more peaceful and productive state, but instead, she took herself and all those around her down with her negative one-way diatribe.

Once the plane landed and we came to the gate, we were asked to remain seated as four police officers stormed the plane and removed her from it. At that point we learned that she was a university professor flying with four students on their way to China. She wasn't uneducated--she was a chaperone! It was not for a lack of understanding that she wouldn't listen or abide by the rules. She allowed negativity to rule.

As we exited the aircraft, I saw the lady still fighting with the now eight law enforcement that surrounded her. I wanted to say, "Lady, let it go."

Which got me thinking. How many times have we all held onto things for too long? Thoughts that hold us back. Habits that limit us. Distractions that derail us. Negative people that drain us. Fear that paralyzes us and sabotages our performance and productivity.

We spend so much time and energy on things that don't matter that we don't focus on what does matter. We fill up on negative energy and then there's not room for positive energy to flow into our lives. And then, we scratch our heads, wondering why our lives continue on the same trajectory.

This week I encourage you to let go of something that holds you back. Let go of the mental clutter that prevents you from focusing on your priorities. Let go of the negativity, blame, and battle you wage with yourself or others. When you do, you'll make room for great thoughts, exciting opportunities, endless possibilities, and an infinite supply of joy that waits to fill you up. You just have to let go of the old junk to make room for the good stuff.

Now make it work for you:

1. Identify one toxic belief or habit in your life and choose to let it go.

2. What limiting or negative story do you keep replaying in your mind that you must let go of in order to move your dream and goals forward?

3. Identify two actions that you will take (within the next 24 hours!) to prove you are no longer holding onto your old ways.

Let it go. Let it go. Let. It. Go.

Peace,

Rita

Risk

“He who deliberates fully before taking a step will spend his entire life on one leg.” Chinese Proverb

Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been implementing new technology systems to better support my clients as well as myself. A daunting task for me, especially since I am a technology-challenged individual. I faced great uncertainty: “Should I make these changes? Am I making the right decisions? What if I get something wrong and nothing works?”

Have you ever thought that your next decision would decide the fate of the planet? It may not be realistic, but it certainly feels possible in the moment. This was one of those moments for me.

The change–every part of it—took me out of my comfort zone. When I made the final purchase and pushed the final button, my body shook with fear. I called a friend to talk me down from the ledge!

I thought to myself, “Woman, pull yourself together.” And then I took a leap. I felt the fear and…I did it anyway. The result: I now enjoy more productivity, efficiency and freedom!

The next step calls even when, especially when, we are uncertain of what will happen next. This uncertainty can create anxiety and fear, especially if you believe that decision or choice will affect your life indefinitely. Sometimes, we must release our inner control freak. We must stop deliberating and take action. We must dare to be wrong or rejected or look foolish, or make a mistake. We must embrace the risk.

A study of 75 90-year-olds showed that given another chance, they’d take more risks. The glory of knowing they at least tried far exceeds any regrets or angst over making the wrong decision. May we hear this wisdom and act on it while we can.

On the day I made my “big” decisions to move forward, I received this Chinese Proverb. A coincidence? I think not. The universe prodded me to stop hesitating, stop mulling over the decision and step into the next moment. I’m glad I listened.

Don’t ruminate and hesitate for one more day. I challenge you to get off your one-legged perch. Do something that stretches your comfort zone. If you’ve been deliberating on something for awhile, take the step. Prepare to be amazed by what lies ahead.

Aretn't Your Dreams & Goals Worth 16 Minutes?

Yesterday started with the greatest of intentions. I intended to further my dream—to realize the launch of a new product for which I have so much passion. I sat down in my office, eager to continue my work on this product—I even had the time “blocked” to do it. I turned on my computer, and checked my email. Two hours later, after addressing e-mails, being distracted by de-cluttering my office and two incoming calls, I was in the same place as when I turned on my computer! The many things and tasks around me clamored for my attention and I gave it—and lost my footing in the process.

With so many options and distractions in our world, it can be difficult to remain focused. Even when I know better!

I sat down in my office with a vague idea (but not a concrete idea) of what I wanted to accomplish. I have my lists. (And yes, these lists are usually on paper, because I am a dinosaur who still holds more faith in “inking it” than hitting “save” on the computer and sending it into the ethers.) Regardless of where you keep your list, the problem lies with the execution of your list. How can you stick to a plan when so many things threaten to derail it? How do you remain focused when there are so many things that must get done?

Having coached clients for over ten years and studying what the successful and consciously living do, I believe I have the answer.

Ritual.

Regular structure allows for planning, visioning, and deliberate action. With a ritual, you will drive your day rather than the details of the day driving you.

Your ritual needs to be the first thing that gets done no matter what. It need not be long, in fact, it shouldn’t be long--I believe it can be completed in just 16 minutes a day.

How? It all starts before you turn on your computer…

Step 1 (5 minutes) Plan your day. Begin with a blank piece of paper and write down what would make today a successful day in all ways. What can you realistically accomplish today that would make you feel successful and happy about your progress? Go ahead and write it down.

Place those items into time slots throughout the day, preferably doing the most difficult tasks earlier in the day when you are at your peak.

Step 2 (3 minutes) Visualize your day in advance. Visualization is a powerful tool. After Step 1, imagine yourself at the end of your day. Look back on it with great satisfaction and a smile on your face. Imagine yourself embodying all of the traits that you need to succeed; tenacity, preparedness, confidence, organized, calm. See your accomplishments—and enjoy your success. Feel and get comfortable with the results—notice how easy it was.

Step 3 (3 minutes) Mine for Gold. Ask your Higher Self or your intuitive mind for any additional information or answers to challenges. We always have more untapped information. Such intuitive insights are often lost because we don’t take the time to ask, trust and act on it when it comes. Ask any question, for example, “Who could help me complete that project on time?” or “What resources can I tap that I haven’t yet?” Write the insights that come to you and add into your day.

Step 4 (2 minutes) How do you feel? You create in direct proportion to how good you feel. Manage your state by speaking positively about yourself and your potential, making sure you support your body with whatever it needs--food, exercise, breathing, daylight, etc.

Step 5 (3 minutes) Gratitude and success. What five things are you grateful for? Name five areas in which you’ve succeeded. Write ‘em down. (If you don’t acknowledge yourself and give thanks for what you have, why would you expect to get more?)

Visit your list at least twice a day to remain clear and focused on your direction. Employing a daily ritual espouses confidence and results. After avidly planning your day, you’ll be less likely to entertain interruptions. Instead, you’ll easily address the distractions and stay on track.

Aren’t your dreams and goals worth 16 minutes of planning?